ISN’T SHE

just like the other regular mornings , he kept snoozing his alarms , but this time he snoozed it lying wide awake , a bunch of thoughts raging in his mind , as he counted the 6th alarm to get ready for his duty if it was a regular morning.

he washed his face , as the water sprinkled on his face he looked into the mirror , red eyes , not swollen but red , the first time he didn’t chant “who’s the best ?” , well he woke up giving up , as he saw him losing on the dream he built , he knew he had a day to face , he turned the shower on stood still facing the wall , probably he didn’t even realise he was turning cold as the winter inside him killed the winter outside , no it wasn’t drugs , it wasn’t alcohol , it wasn’t any substance that he abused , standing still he wept , like 5 year old kid , embraced himself like he needed a hug , he went stood in front of the mirror and washed his face again , but this time he faced himself with a bit of more courage , he needed to muster all that he had for the day had just started .

he walked up to his wardrobe and picked his mother’s favourite white shirt and the blue jeans she bought him and stated ” my kid looks handsome in this ” , to which he replied ” ma , I’m not a kid anymore” , to which mom caressed his hair and said ” you’re never growing up for me ” spoiling his gelled hair , he stared blank at the shirt and the jeans , all he knew was today she won’t be doing the same thing . As he checked his phone the clock struck 1:00 pm , every day exactly when he called her ” mom I left , I had my food and I’m late ” mom knew he was lying she used hung up saying ” have something in the middle of your work”, he booked his cab to the airport blurry eyed ,35 missed calls from dad , unlike all times he wasn’t excited to go home today .
As he reached the airport, he expected his mom hiding behind the security to surprise him , but this time it was dad , with a forced smile on his face . they hugged both knew they rubbed their eyes after the hug , you know male ego stereotypes .

while driving back the silence was agonising more than the cacophony of the traffic , no one spoke a word , as the car parked, the crowd in front of his home made way for him , he waded like he never wanted to go , he stood blank as the red draped gorgeous woman , was lying in front , he was curious as a kid about “isn’t she gonna cook my favourite halwa now that I’m home ? , isn’t she gonna tell me how lean I’ve grown, isn’t she ……”

Semicolon (;)

while every one was living a life they already had we cloned it as ours and clubbed it together for one ,

while every one spoke about love and went on ranting how awesome they have been we stole glances ,

with passing every ticks of my clocks ,I tired to rhyme my hours to yours, trying to sound quite as much homophonic as possible,

while it downpoured there inside your uneasy mind ,I knew it was a rough hour in your heart which was fighting a battle with the clash of every cloud on your grounds of thought , I watched you slip over but I stood there un-noticed with an umbrella of hope.,

when it was time for you to smile as the best dessert was served to your sweet tooth cravings, I watched you nom your introvert made-ups with those gulps you took,

every bloody time I tried to write about myself , my happiness sailed and anchored on your harbour of love ,I smiled like jack sparrow of my life,

when you looked at me with those small swollen eyes of yours in mine , I saw my semicolon;

finding peace wasn’t tough, you were hard to unveil what you had in you , the unboxing therapy of you turned me into unboxing the helpless hopeless lover of yours….

I could be blunt without my Goodbye’s, which aren’t just my tale , semicolons have been my eureka ever since you tip-toed in ,happy place innit I found.

The Lone-some

You sit down, down all alone , all by your own
You never really feel your thoughts have left the convolutions of your deep mind.

You creep ,sleep ,behave naive , dealing with them .

You stand against your own thought , you walk on a highway where you are clueless if you’re going towards or walking away from something .

You think about people looking at you while you pass by you hallucinate , you let yourself be seen by them , on the way of judgements and discrimination , you know your go, you know the catch of your life .you still walk with the convolutions , like a forever !

Have you ever looked back and felt if you really need it , deserving and getting it by an option are two different faces of the light .

You even know when you fake a smile , fake a relationship , but you know when the sun comes again you’d be rising and soaring , you’d grin and mock and shine above all .

Everything you have is just about today , living in the moment , making the most of it , but you often forget your identity as a wanderer , rather a sore one where your emotions reaches peaks on alcohol and weed , your adrenaline rushes are those high end pubs , you can’t let yourself settle for less , you have a pocket full of money , a mind full of dreams , what about your thoughts ,what about the next” when this moment “ would be over . What about you going back away from the crowd to your bed lonely .

What about your happiness ? You can’t even pen those down , cause your alcohol now makes you repent , a repent which isn’t a part of tomorrow !